


as you did me

by ienablu



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode: s05e02 Arthur's Bane, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-22 01:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ienablu/pseuds/ienablu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen remembers Mordred, and Gwen suspects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	as you did me

Gwen is relieved at Arthur's return, as she always is. She is unhappy about the wounds he received, and unhappier still with the circumstances. But the knights have all returned alive, Arthur has returned alive, and for that she is grateful.

She sits with him, in Gaius' chambers, and listens to Arthur recount what happened. She listens to the summary of events, listens to his asides about Merlin, listens to the quiet noises of pain when Gaius wraps bandages too tight. She listens to everything he says, and listens for everything that he doesn't.

Tonight, Arthur is to sleep in Gaius' chambers, under his care.

Tomorrow, he is to knight Mordred.

Gwen remembers Mordred.

It had taken half the walk to her chambers to remember, but given all the names she has to remember (servants, knights, their families, dignitaries, allies, enemies), and the length it has been since she heard the name, she doesn't let herself feel too guilty.

She settles herself at the table, and remembers. All those years ago, Merlin bursting into Morgana's chambers, a injured child at his side. Mordred, the druid boy. 

Gwen does not like being suspicious, although recent events have made her accept it as necessary. She strives to see the best in people, and will continue to do so, though she will let no more die as a result, not if she can help it.

And she can't help but suspect -- she believes everything happens for a reason, and she wonders the reason of hearing Gaius' warning the day before Mordred returns.

The door opens, then, and Merlin slinks in. He's tense, and fidgety, as he always is after Arthur is injured. Gwen knows the feeling. She watches as he tidies the room, and silently critiques him the extra lengths he has to walk, as he goes from area to area, forgetting to bring along a pillow, Gwen's boots, Arthur's shirt.

Merlin is a dear friend, but he is not the best servant. Arthur has proclaimed it loudly, and Gwen has silently agreed, but Arthur has never looked to find another to take the position, nor has Gwen tried to pass along tips she learned when she had been a servant. Merlin's value lies in his loyalty to Arthur and Gwen and Camelot, his advice when it is needed, and his unerring ability to know friend from foe.

"Merlin," she starts, still trying to figure out how to best frame the question she wants to ask. She is only allowed one chance to ask, one chance to ask it _right_. As queen, she no longer has the luxury of fumbled attempts, of sticking of her foot in her mouth as she was rather adept at doing.

"Hm?" It takes him a minute to stop fiddling with the bedspread and turn to her. "Yes?" he asks, making his way over, standing near the table.

Gwen leans back at her chair, and studies him. His expression has been pinched and concerned since he entered the room, since him and Arthur returned to Camelot, and Gwen suspects what the reason may be. "Gaius told me -- and by which I'm sure he's already told you -- something about the druids, yesterday."

Merlin looks at her, expression fading into something more neutral, and waits.

"He said there's a prophecy. That Arthur will die by a druid's hand."

It takes him a moment, but Merlin replies, "Gaius did tell me this." He has the same difficulty talking as she does, and she doesn't doubt he's as unhappy with the idea as she is.

"I try not to reminisce--" Gwen starts, then cuts herself off. She tries, but she does not always succeed. It's in the small corners of her mind; gowns that she think would look better with bluer eyes, flowers picked and arranged after fitful nights, the tinkling sound of a similar laugh. It's difficult -- all those years of friendship, all the times they had saved Camelot and Ealdor and druids, only to find out they had meant nothing to her.

Gwen allows herself a moment, before she brings herself to the present, and tries again. "Do you remember the druid boy, all those years ago? That you, me, Arthur--" _Morgana_ "--helped save?"

Merlin nods.

"Arthur was talking about it, once. He told me the druid boy's name. It's Mordred." After a pause, she asks, "It's Mordred, isn't it? The boy, the knight?"

Merlin nods again.

There's a quiet minute, while she continues to search for the right words, because even with Merlin, she only has once chance to say this right. In her silence, though, Merlin seems to pick up on it.

"You--" he starts, gaze unreadable. "You think that Arthur will die at Mordred's hand?"

Gwen doesn't know, but she does suspect. "It just seems -- possible," she settles on, finally. "Morgana and Mordred, they were close, all those years ago. They formed a bond, and Morgana felt for him very deeply. I do not suppose there are many she has a long-term bond with, and though he's said he owes Arthur his life, and though I do not doubt it, Mordred could have reason to owe Morgana allegiance as well. Of course, he chose Arthur over Morgana, and perhaps I am being too quick in casting judgements--" and she's rambling, even though she's mostly trained herself out of it. She takes a calming breath, and evenly concludes, "However, I do not suppose there is any harm in being cautious."

Merlin doesn't argue, only nods.

Gwen doesn't want to ask him to grant her a favor, but she can't be quiet about this, not when she suspects Arthur may be in danger. She knows Merlin will understand. Carefully, she says, "Watch over him."

"I will."

And Gwen doesn't doubt it.


End file.
